Children are naturally self-centred, perceiving the world from their own point of view. Also, they are usually familiar with, and often enjoy, being the centre of attention. For these reasons, they may find it difficult when siblings come along. Because until that day, the child who was the only focus of attention in the family sees the newborn baby as a competitor, and jealousy can ensue. The first child thinks that attention from the family and other people is focused on the newborn baby, She/he may therefore display attitudes that she/he hasn’t shown before, and may develop new habits and behaviours. Some children express the jealousy they feel but most of them don’t, so they begin a silent war against their parents and their younger sibling.

This situation isn’t about whether the requests of the first child are fulfilled or not; rather, they perceive it as a diversion of attention from herself/himself. She/he thinks all of the attention will be on the sibling and that she/he will always remain in the background. Even if, as parents, you don’t of course think this way, it is normal for her/him to think like that. Because, she/he has never thought before about the presence of someone who will get as much – if not more – attention as she/he gets. That’s why your child may find it difficult to adapt to this new situation.

In the case of 'sibling rivalry', knowing what not to do comes first. For example, definitely do not blame or rebuke the elder child who is showing signs of jealousy. Waiting for him to show a mature attitude as soon as she/he has a baby sister won’t be realistic. Also, if you react in this way, it will make her/him feel guilty and worthless. In fact, your child needs time to adjust to having a sister or brother, and can become introverted if you display a negative attitude.

Likewise, be careful not to spoil your elder child, fulfilling all of her/his requests, and over-compensating by being over-attentive. This can only increase her/his concerns about the issue.

Actually, every child, more or less, feels jealous of their younger siblings. As a parent, you should accept this fact, and aim to find a smooth and reasonable solution to the problem for all parties. One of the best ways to do this is to involve the elder child in the newborn’s care as much as possible.

This will help the elder child overcome their feelings of jealousy by empowering her/him to show maturity and helpfulness, and feel a sense of importance and inclusion.

In this process, it is possible to make progress day by day with small but sure steps. For example, when you change the newborn baby's diaper ask your elder child to bring wet wipes, or when you prepare milk for your baby, ask the elder to entertain the baby until you are back. You can tell her/him that it's a responsibility that comes with being an elder sibling.

Besides, you can tell her/him that she/he was once a baby who was little and needed care just like her/his newborn sister or brother. You can also plan special activities, such as a family picnic or an outdoor activity; this can help with bonding between the whole family.